Kim Bookout, also known as Kimmy, was one of the original housemates on the second season of the syndicated NBC series Starting Over. Starting Over is a Bunim-Murray (Real World, Road Rules, The Simple Life) produced series that is a daytime reality series about six women living together under one roof changing their lives.

Kim was on the shown to basically start her life over. The 40-something year old woman with the keen sense of style wanted to work on mending several relationships in her life-most importantly the relationship between her and her sister. Part of Kim's healing also included a process known as "removing the mask."

Kim was on the show for the first three months of the second season. While on the show, Kim's life coach was the best selling author and world reknown motivational speaker Iyanla Vanzant. Kim also became close friends with her housemate Towanda Braxton who also appears on the show. Towanda, a former member of the Braxtons is on the show to launch her solo career and to create her own identity outside of her famous family ties.

Although it was hard to watch at times because Kim's journey was so emotional, her weeks on the show were very inspiring. Prior to graduating from the Starting Over house Kim and her sister Kelly put the past behind them and the two sisters will be spending the holidays together for the first time in five years. She also mentioned that the sisterhood is alive and well and she still keeps in touch with Towanda and Jennifer.

Kim was a woman on the show I identified with immediately. She was a mother of two (like me), from Colorado (I lived there sometimes growing up and my dad and brother still live there) upper middle class, a career woman (Kim was a dental hygienist for 17 years) happily married, liked the color pink, carried a Louis Vuitton purse (like me) and really dressed nice. Not only that, Kim was working to rebuild broken relationships, something that I am working on doing myself. I also really wanted to do the interview because some of the message board posters would say things like, "Who can relate to Kim? The women last season were women people could relate to." Well I can relate to Kim and based on my conversation with Kim, many women related to her story and they tell her all the time.

Kim is very easy to talk to and we talked off the record beyond our interview. More than anything I explained to Kim I wanted to provide her with a platform to tell the world her side of everything.

Interview with Kim Bookout from Starting Over

Did you watch Starting Over before you were cast?
Kim Bookout-I did.

Now that your episodes have stopped airing do you still watch the show?
Kim Bookout-I do.

Was there ever a time when you wanted to leave the house?
Kim Bookout-Oh yeah, two times. The first time was when my kids came to the house. I was really upset because I felt like my housemates were pretty rude to my children with the exception of Towanda. Towanda was the only one nice to my kids. Some of them wouldn't even look at them or talk to them. It was rude. Then Iyanla did that whole as Deborah would say "put me on front street."

I don't know if you remember this but when my kids were there and Sommer accused me of stealing make-up at that same group meeting Iyanla had me on the flat screen asking for a reprieve from not wearing the make-up, they didn't show the whole tape. Between that and Sommer accusing me of stealing the make-up and all of this on the heels of Deborah leaving and Sommer coming it was really a hard time. It was something I didn't want to deal with. Obviously, something is wrong with Sommer. Why would I steal her cheap Cover Girl crap when I have my own make-up?

I feel that she lied. When you know for sure that you haven't done something and someone accuses you it's really upsetting. And then she was going through my stuff and Rhonda and Dr. Stan were like, "Why were you going through Kim's things?" I think with Sommer I had been telling her I didn't trust her. She would go tell Josie stuff about Jennifer and then tell Jennifer stuff about Josie and asked if I felt that was two faced and I said yes. Towanda and I both told her that was like playing both sides of the fence and I believe in loyalty and we believe in loyalty, and by me saying I didn't trust her pissed her off and she accused me.

Yeah I personally think she handled it wrong. You all were roommates she could have come to you one on one and asked you about it.
Kim Bookout-You saw how small the bathroom was. I thought we had worked everything out that it was a mix-up then we found my makeup was in her bag.

The episode when you all were sitting on the bed talking.
Kim Bookout-Right. It was two eye shadows in her bag so we concluded when my daughters were in town stuff could have got mixed up. I come home thinking we worked it out and I see where she says I was pathological liar, that really upset me as you can imagine.

What are some of your favorite TV shows?
Kim Bookout-I love Will & Grace and I love The Apprentice. Oprah. Oprah is my all time favorite
show in the world forever.

What type of music do you listen to?
Kim Bookout- Well I love Alicia Keys and Usher. He is like my favorite. And Towanda.

The way that Starting Over is edited, it appears that you all only leave the house with life coaches or for planned events. Did you all ever just go out on your own to the store or to the hair salon?
Kim Bookout- Well everything had to be okay'd. We couldn't go anywhere unless they knew and we only had off 2 hours on Sunday when we were able to go wherever we wanted.

Was it difficult getting used to having the cameras around all of the time?
Kim Bookout-Yeah that's weird. I found myself laughing. You just couldn't stop. It's like when you wake up there is a camera in your face. It took about 2 weeks and then you are so enthralled in your own personal crap that after awhile a hard to believe you get used to it.

How are you dealing with your newfound celebrity?
Kim Bookout-Oh it's crazy. Unbelievable. I can't believe how many people have come up to me and told me that they have seen me and I inspired them. It has been crazy. You know you are going to be on TV, but when you are there you are so caught up in the process that you don't think I am going to be recognized. It's been bizarre. I'm surprised.

What are your career plans for 2005?
Kim Bookout-Well…that's a hard question. I really don't know what I want to do now. I would like to work on a soap opera, that would be so cool. I love One Life To Live and Passions. I would love to do something like that. Also, one of the things I have been thinking about is a support group for women coming off of the show.
When you come off of the show it's really difficult. I don't think people realize that you have all of this support and you are really focused on yourself everyday and you don't know what's going to happen. You don't find out until that day or the night before, so life is planned and all of a sudden there is no support. So I would love to help other women who come off of the show. I could like to act as a liaison between the house and the women so that we can put a network together and help each other support each other.

If you were asked to participate in a Starting Over refresher course, like a 3 week session to reinforce your goals would you go back to the house?
Kim Bookout-Yes, I would. Absolutely. I think the show is really about women empowering themselves and in doing that you help other women and so I think that it's a very worth while show because of that.

I went into it thinking if I could help one person it would really be worth it. Though the process was really one of the most difficult things I have done, I'm glad and would do it again even under the circumstances that I was in.

Iyanla seemed intimidating at times, did she ever make you nervous?
Kim Bookout-Oh yes. She made me very nervous every time. I would get butterflies. Iyanla can look in your eyes and see your soul. She is an amazing and incredible woman. I feel so blessed and fortunate to have had her as my life coach. I truly believe it was meant to be. Iyanla is spiritual and helped me to take my faith to a deeper level. I don't know if you remember the episode she prayed for me. It was amazing how that worked. I loved the whole sisterhood. It's so incredible.

Towanda and I are the best of friends and we talk two or three times a day and have remained close. When you go through that kind of process, you become close. We just became friends instantly when we looked into each others eyes. She and I are the best of friends.

You mentioned in your chat that you were a dental hygenist for 17 years. That is quite an interesting career, how did you get used to looking in peoples mouths every day, was it weird at first?
Kim Bookout-No, it really wasn't. I have always been fascinated with peoples teeth since an early age. I check out smiles. I really, really loved it. I have just done it for so many years I'm interested in doing something else. Burned out.

Have you bought a new Louis yet?
Kim Bookout-I can't believe how much fuss was made over the purse. It's just a purse get over it people. I think what people don't understand Dorrie is when you wake up there is a schedule where you are to go but they don't say why or who so you have to take your purse in case you need money for a taxi or anything. I think they just zoned in on my purse because it was a Louis Vuitton. Nobody knows if it's real or fake so I will just leave it a mystery.

Do you ever shop online?
Kim Bookout-You know I shopped a little online, but I think I shopped on Ebay mainly. I'll have to do that more now that I am on the computer more.

How do you think so much of the focus with your story surrounded the whole "Kim has money" thing. I don't remember issues with money having anything to do with your steps?
Kim Bookout-Well you know that really did bother me. I have to admit because here is the thing. I feel like I have never put money or material things in front of other peoples needs and there were other people in the house with just as nice of things. It was upsetting to me that everyone put so much focus on what I had materially. I found myself defending myself all the time and I think that was really difficult for me. I have always volunteered and given away money. For me it was really hard.

Colorado is a beautiful state and I feel that in the 90's Colorado got a bad rap for a few high profile incidents like the Jon Benet Ramsey case and Columbine, do you think the image of Colorado has bounced back?
Kim Bookout- Don't forget Kobe. I think that every state has ya know unfortunately bad things that happen. One thing that I think has helped is that the state has pulled together in all three of these incidents and coming together has made the people more bonded. People are nice. I think it helped when Iyanla and Jennifer came to Colorado to have the fierce conversation I felt a lot safer being here and was glad that we came.

I need some advice. Your steps of mending past relationships inspired me.
I have a friend who I have known for 20 years who initially stopped speaking to me when I got married because she felt we were supposed to wait and get married at the same time.
Kim Bookout-Really?

Then in recent years she has told mutual friends that I think I'm all that because I write books. I have sent her numerous letters with no response. I even called on the phone and she pretended it wasn't her. Is there a time I should stop reaching out or should I keep pursuing the friendship?
Kim Bookout-Are you kidding? Really? She pretended it wasn't her on the phone.

Yes, I have known her 20 years and she pretended that it wasn't her on the phone like I don't know her voice.
Kim Bookout-You know what my advice would be to you. You have to continue to reach out and love her because this is more about you not so much about her. What I have found is that you can't have joy when you have busted relationships. If you continue to love her unconditionally, I just believe that someday she will come around. I believe that. I think if you harbor anger, having Iyana made me realize if you are angry or harbor resentment people can pick that up.

It's best to come to her with clean and clear communications and with pure intentions. If you just keep doing it you want to you love her. If you continue that level of love it will come back. I have experienced that myself and believe that.

I took it upon myself to apologize even though I feel in my heart I didn't do anything wrong. In the letter I said, I am sorry for anything I might have done to upset you the last time we spoke or saw each other. I don't know if it's jealousy or what.
Kim Bookout-It's possible. Imagine yourself, great career, husband, two kids. It is possible that she may harbor some kind of jealousy. I've learned that if that's true she's picking that up. I've learned this. It is a hard thing to hear. I remember saying this to someone in the house how in the world people hold things like that against you, maybe its because you some how portrayed yourself a certain way.

Okay for those who don't watch SO, I'm pretty sure what Kim meant is something in my personality, the way that I act toward my friend, I might unknowingly be doing something to make her jealous, and this might be true. When we talk I don't have to mention my latest book, accomplishments or interviews I've landed-Dorrie

It's complicated. There is a bit of a role reversal. Growing up she is the one that had everything. It's complicated.

I think you're a fabulous example of a woman in her 40's enjoying her life and being a wife and a mother. I really enjoyed watching you on the show.
Kim Bookout-Thanks, that means a lot. I appreciate it.

Any last comments?
Kim Bookout-I feel really lucky that I was a part of Starting Over and the process and hope that in the future I can reach out to other women pay it forward each woman it will all be worth it. I don't know if you heard when I came into the house I didn't have many female friends. I've realized too often too many women instead of whether it's jealousy or men or whatever the issue, women need to stick together and help support each other and be there and love each other and make the world a better place to live. I've developed close relationships and can help women.

You can visit Kim Bookout on the web at her official website http://www.kimbookout.com.

Related Links
Sir Links Alot Starting Over Links
Starting Over Official Site

Interview copyright Dorrie Williams-Wheeler, thabiz.com 2004. You may not copy and paste or reprint this article/interview in any way shape or form. You may only link to the interview at this web link-http://www.thabiz.com/kim_bookout_interview.htm.

Dorrie Williams-Wheeler is the founder of thabiz.com and the author of Be My Sorority Sister-Under Pressure. You can visit her on the web at www.dorrieinteractive.com.