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ASK GIRLFRIEND...is now ASK PRINCESS DOMINIQUE!


PRINCESS!
I think my boss likes me. He is always starting silly conversations over anything. Some of the things he says don't even make sense to me but he rambles anyway trying hard to get my attention. I know I shouldn't date my boss, especially since he's married and his wife just had a baby. He's cute and drives a nice car, what do I do if I'm approached by him though? - Wondering What If

DEAR WHAT
If what?!?! This is a set up, sweetie. For his sake, let's hope your boss is just being friendly and trying to get to know his co-workers better. You sound like a woman who wants to be respected so I'll tell it to you straight--fact is respectable women don't date married men, period. If he isn't just trying to be friendly and he approaches you please know that that action alone is illegal and if he persists it can be considered a hostile work environment. On to the set up. The set up is to get you to be flattered by the situation, give in to the situation and then he'll in turn use the situation to get what he wants from you while putting your job ie. livelihood in jeopardy if you refuse at any point to give in to his demands. He's your employer. so, irregardless of what he's after, err on the side of caution, just say NO! P.S. Who cares what he drives.


PRINCESS!
What do you do when you are attracted to a man that belongs to someone else? This woman treats him bad and doesn't seem to take his feelings into account. Whenever I see them together, they look like an odd match. How do I share my feelings with him and let him decide for himself how he wants to proceed? - Got an Attraction

ATTRACTION
Don't share a blessed thing! Leave that man alone! He's not yours. I have one question. Why on earth would you impose yourself on someone else's relationship? It could be your imagination that makes you think that you'd treat him better or that she treat him bad; if indeed that is the case at all, but the bottom line is that if he was yours or if he was supposed to be--he'd be with you. There is nothing more nauseating that a woman who wants a man at any cost. If this man did leave his girlfriend to be with you, what makes you think that one day you won't be the one who is left in the dust weeping about losing your man? There are millions of men out there--find one that isn't taken, fall in love and then pray that no one does to you what you were contemplating doing to the next woman.

PRINCESS!
My girlfriend is so obsessed with music artists that she goes to every concert, spends all of her money going to the places where they hang out hoping for a chance to "get with" one of these guys and end up being on the arm of a star and living in a big house. I used to hang out with her and it was fun for a little while, now it's getting so out of hand that she doesn't want to go to work or to school and it's affecting our friendship. She's even gone so far as to borrow money from me to buy name brand outfits to wear to get their attention. How do I tell her that I can't take her behavior anymore? It's ruining not only our friendship but her reputation. - Shady

SHADY
Speak loudly and clearly, that's how you tell her. Your friend is delusional and needs to snap out of it. It sounds like she's been watching too much MTV Cribs or has whet her appetite on the glamorous life by sipping some domestic champagne and dreaming about BLING and is long overdue for a wake up call. Everything has a dark side including the life she's craving. I'm not certain how old she is but she needs to stay in school, graduate, go to college and find a career for herself. Groupies aren't even a dime a dozen, they're a nickel and I can give her a list of things she can "get" if she doesn't start playing it safe (some of them are incurable). Express to your friend that she can obtain the same things she craves from these men by working hard and buying them for herself. At least once you've told her how you feel you can say that you tried. I hope the two of you can work the kinks out of your friendship.

PRINCESS!
What is wrong with a man who doesn't know the meaning of the word seduction? It's always straight to the sex and then roll over, no cuddling, no caressing and you can forget a conversation about anything after we're through. I'm not insecure by any means but it does leave our episodes less and less desirable as the marriage struggles forward. Any advice at this point would help. - Wits End

DEAR WIT
You can sit there and do nothing or you can devise a plan of action. Those who know teach! And since you know what you want, teach him how to give it to you. It's not true that all men feel inferior when a woman takes charge. Some men actually enjoy it--immensely! Sex aside, when we're are in a relationship with someone rather than getting settled we need to explore and learn our partner before we get so comfortable in the relationship that it borders on boredom. If you're bored, chances are he is too. Adding excitement to the relationship doesn't always culminate in the bedroom either. Seduction for a couple can begin sitting at home watching a movie or playing Scrabble by candlelight, reading poetry to each other in between bites of chocolates or blindfolding one another and playing the "guess what I'm making for dessert game" by tasting the ingredients. You are only limited by your imagination. I say don't get angry or plot to get even, start implementing some of these fun things that will jumpstart your relationship and then watch your love life sizzle.

PRINCESS!
What do you do when you know she's the one? - Da Piper

DEAR PIPER
I say WOO her! Make her want to be yours eternally. Seriously now, the wooing and cuddling is proper dating etiquette, however there is more that goes into love and being together forever than just sparkling trinkets and dinners out on the town--being the best man you can be tops that list. When a woman senses that a man has all his ducks in a row and is planning his future (whether or not it includes her) she'll feel safe and secure enough in the dating to proceed with a future with him. Once you've got your security squared away, assuming that she isn't already spoken for and has a genuine affection for you too--the light is green my friend--propose! Don't overwhelm her though, just give her a taste of the benefits she'll be reaping when the two of you formalize your coupling and tie the knot. Remember, what you do to get her, you've got to continue doing to keep her.

PRINCESS!
I really love my boyfriend but what always starts out as a good relationship where we are constantly doing things together, ends up with me sitting home alone on the weekend watching tv while my single girlfriends go out and have more fun than I have and I'm in a relationship. I need help. I can't take this anymore. - Shipwrecked in Love

DEAR SHIPWRECKED
Look in the mirror! I'm not sure if dumping him or those that come after him will ever solve your problem--especially when it seems that the problem could be you. We honestly teach people how to treat us by what we continuously allow them to do to us. My first question is, what signals have you given off that makes him think it's all right to ignore you or never take you out in public? Has he wanted to take you out prior to now and you were not in the mood? Instead of dinner out or dancing do you most often suggest take out and a movie rental? It makes no sense to be in a relationship and still feel lonely, but by the same token, if any of the above is true, he could have gotten the impression that you didn't want to be seen out with him and therefore stopped asking. Make a list of things that you want out of a relationship as well as things you'd like to do together with your mate. Sit down and share it with him, start over with a clean slate if it's possible and then vow to enjoy it to the hilt.


Ask Princess Dominique
advice with spice™


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Online advice columnist, Princess Dominique aka Linda Dominique Grosvenor has assisted tons of couples with their love woes through her column as well as individuals in her famed one on one sessions. She is the author of the summer sizzler The Hamptons and has been a much sought after relationship expert. Her expertise on dating and relationships issues has been used in articles for publications such as Modern Bride and MORE Magazine. Log on to the official site at AskPrincessDominique.com.


Note: Letters may be edited for space and clarity.






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