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ASK GIRLFRIEND...is now
ASK PRINCESS DOMINIQUE!
PRINCESS!
I think my boss likes me. He is always starting
silly conversations over anything. Some of the things he
says don't even make sense to me but he rambles anyway trying
hard to get my attention. I know I shouldn't date my boss,
especially since he's married and his wife just had a baby.
He's cute and drives a nice car, what do I do if I'm approached
by him though? - Wondering What If
DEAR WHAT
If what?!?! This is a set up, sweetie. For his sake, let's
hope your boss is just being friendly and trying to get
to know his co-workers better. You sound like a woman
who wants to be respected so I'll tell it to you straight--fact
is respectable women don't date married men, period. If
he isn't just trying to be friendly and he approaches
you please know that that action alone is illegal and
if he persists it can be considered a hostile work environment.
On to the set up. The set up is to get you to be flattered
by the situation, give in to the situation and then he'll
in turn use the situation to get what he wants from you
while putting your job ie. livelihood in jeopardy if you
refuse at any point to give in to his demands. He's your
employer. so, irregardless of what he's after, err on
the side of caution, just say NO! P.S. Who cares what
he drives.
PRINCESS!
What do you do when you are attracted to a man that belongs
to someone else? This woman treats him bad and doesn't
seem to take his feelings into account. Whenever I see
them together, they look like an odd match. How do I share
my feelings with him and let him decide for himself how
he wants to proceed? - Got an Attraction
ATTRACTION
Don't share a blessed thing! Leave that man alone! He's
not yours. I have one question. Why on earth would you
impose yourself on someone else's relationship? It could
be your imagination that makes you think that you'd treat
him better or that she treat him bad; if indeed that is
the case at all, but the bottom line is that if he was
yours or if he was supposed to be--he'd be with you. There
is nothing more nauseating that a woman who wants a man
at any cost. If this man did leave his girlfriend to be
with you, what makes you think that one day you won't
be the one who is left in the dust weeping about losing
your man? There are millions of men out there--find one
that isn't taken, fall in love and then pray that no one
does to you what you were contemplating doing to the next
woman.
PRINCESS!
My girlfriend is so obsessed with music artists that she
goes to every concert, spends all of her money going to
the places where they hang out hoping for a chance to
"get with" one of these guys and end up being
on the arm of a star and living in a big house. I used
to hang out with her and it was fun for a little while,
now it's getting so out of hand that she doesn't want
to go to work or to school and it's affecting our friendship.
She's even gone so far as to borrow money from me to buy
name brand outfits to wear to get their attention. How
do I tell her that I can't take her behavior anymore?
It's ruining not only our friendship but her reputation.
- Shady
SHADY
Speak loudly and clearly, that's how you tell her. Your
friend is delusional and needs to snap out of it. It sounds
like she's been watching too much MTV Cribs or has whet
her appetite on the glamorous life by sipping some domestic
champagne and dreaming about BLING and is long overdue
for a wake up call. Everything has a dark side including
the life she's craving. I'm not certain how old she is
but she needs to stay in school, graduate, go to college
and find a career for herself. Groupies aren't even a
dime a dozen, they're a nickel and I can give her a list
of things she can "get" if she doesn't start
playing it safe (some of them are incurable). Express
to your friend that she can obtain the same things she
craves from these men by working hard and buying them
for herself. At least once you've told her how you feel
you can say that you tried. I hope the two of you can
work the kinks out of your friendship.
PRINCESS!
What is wrong with a man who doesn't know the meaning
of the word seduction? It's always straight to the sex
and then roll over, no cuddling, no caressing and you
can forget a conversation about anything after we're through.
I'm not insecure by any means but it does leave our episodes
less and less desirable as the marriage struggles forward.
Any advice at this point would help. - Wits End
DEAR WIT
You can sit there and do nothing or you can devise a plan
of action. Those who know teach! And since you know what
you want, teach him how to give it to you. It's not true
that all men feel inferior when a woman takes charge.
Some men actually enjoy it--immensely! Sex aside, when
we're are in a relationship with someone rather than getting
settled we need to explore and learn our partner before
we get so comfortable in the relationship that it borders
on boredom. If you're bored, chances are he is too. Adding
excitement to the relationship doesn't always culminate
in the bedroom either. Seduction for a couple can begin
sitting at home watching a movie or playing Scrabble by
candlelight, reading poetry to each other in between bites
of chocolates or blindfolding one another and playing
the "guess what I'm making for dessert game"
by tasting the ingredients. You are only limited by your
imagination. I say don't get angry or plot to get even,
start implementing some of these fun things that will
jumpstart your relationship and then watch your love life
sizzle.
PRINCESS!
What do you do when you know she's the one? - Da Piper
DEAR PIPER
I say WOO her! Make her want to be yours eternally. Seriously
now, the wooing and cuddling is proper dating etiquette,
however there is more that goes into love and being together
forever than just sparkling trinkets and dinners out on
the town--being the best man you can be tops that list.
When a woman senses that a man has all his ducks in a
row and is planning his future (whether or not it includes
her) she'll feel safe and secure enough in the dating
to proceed with a future with him. Once you've got your
security squared away, assuming that she isn't already
spoken for and has a genuine affection for you too--the
light is green my friend--propose! Don't overwhelm her
though, just give her a taste of the benefits she'll be
reaping when the two of you formalize your coupling and
tie the knot. Remember, what you do to get her, you've
got to continue doing to keep her.
PRINCESS!
I really love my boyfriend but what always starts out
as a good relationship where we are constantly doing things
together, ends up with me sitting home alone on the weekend
watching tv while my single girlfriends go out and have
more fun than I have and I'm in a relationship. I need
help. I can't take this anymore. - Shipwrecked in Love
DEAR SHIPWRECKED
Look in the mirror! I'm not sure if dumping him or those
that come after him will ever solve your problem--especially
when it seems that the problem could be you. We honestly
teach people how to treat us by what we continuously allow
them to do to us. My first question is, what signals have
you given off that makes him think it's all right to ignore
you or never take you out in public? Has he wanted to
take you out prior to now and you were not in the mood?
Instead of dinner out or dancing do you most often suggest
take out and a movie rental? It makes no sense to be in
a relationship and still feel lonely, but by the same
token, if any of the above is true, he could have gotten
the impression that you didn't want to be seen out with
him and therefore stopped asking. Make a list of things
that you want out of a relationship as well as things
you'd like to do together with your mate. Sit down and
share it with him, start over with a clean slate if it's
possible and then vow to enjoy it to the hilt.
Ask Princess Dominique
advice with spice
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Check out last months Ask Princess
Dominique!
Online advice columnist, Princess Dominique aka Linda Dominique
Grosvenor has assisted tons of couples with their love woes
through her column as well as individuals in her famed one
on one sessions. She is the author of the summer sizzler
The Hamptons and has been a much sought after relationship
expert. Her expertise on dating and relationships issues
has been used in articles for publications such as Modern
Bride and MORE Magazine. Log on to the official site at
AskPrincessDominique.com.

Note: Letters may be edited for space and clarity.

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